My so-so life
Tuesday, February 9, 2010 at 11:21AM Lately I feel like I am doing a less-than-stellar job at everything. I’m running a small business (frantically), volunteering at my son’s school and on the PTA board (half-heartedly) and trying to keep up around the house (grumpily). I plan workouts that get shelved when sickness hits our house, I set aside time for writing which never happens because my inbox never stops getting emails I need to respond to and I have high hopes of planning a week’s worth of healthy meals and snacks but since I haven’t found time to get to the grocery store, it’s just not happening. And when would I cook these fabulous healthy meals even if I had the ingredients?
Last night, I imploded and set off on a drama-filled rant about how I’m a failure and how do other women do this and maybe I should give it all up and perhaps I should surrender to being our house’s laundry wench.
But, here’s the thing. I want to do the things I do. I love working with women to create the lives they deserve. I enjoy being at my son’s school and working with the kids. I admire the group of parents on the PTA board and love being a part of them. And I thrive in a house that is neat and orderly and even clean sometimes. I get a lot of benefits from working out, I feel creative and proud when I write and eating healthy food makes me feel better physically and is something I want to provide for my kids.
So, guess what I did this morning? I dragged myself and my puffy eyes out of bed, I put on a cute dress that makes me feel put together (since last night I was anything but that) and I started over again. I know my so-so life is far from perfect but it’s mine and for today, that’s enough.
Reader Comments (5)
What I love about your posts is how authentic they are. I often think of how, if tragedy were to strike, it would be the ordinary moments that I would miss the most. Of course, the extraordinary moments of life energize us and make us feel superbly alive. And yet, there is peace and spaciousness in non-striving, in embracing the "so-so"ness of our lives. Perhaps that is where and how we re-fuel for the next extraordinary chapter.
I am feeling the exact same way today! And I can't tell you how comforting it was to read this post. Thank you. I am off to salvage the day, knowing that I am an imperfect human, and that is enough.
you rock! and you know what else you did? you shared your vulnerability with the rest of us imperfect and falling-behind moms, and made us all feel better :). yay for cute dresses too ... i 'wasted' time zipping myself into my kicky heeled boots yesterday just to go to pickup at school. i walked a little taller in more than one way :).
i'm going to have my husband read this so he knows i'm not the only one who feels out of control and cranky right now. it's all a balancing act. we need to give ourselves permission to wobble. after all, even trees sway in the wind.
I think I wobbled enough yesterday to last me about a month! Love that I'm not alone on this journey!