The Guilt Trip
Thursday, March 11, 2010 at 9:21PM I’ve been working a lot lately. I absolutely love what I do so that’s not the problem. The problem is my kids are starting to notice that I’m less available than I’ve always been. And now that I say that, I don’t think that’s the problem either. Kids are adaptable and I’m still with them quite often. So, what is the problem? It’s the useless and annoying guilt I feel! Guilt is defined as “a feeling of culpability for offenses”. OK, it’s definitely a feeling I’m having so that part is right. But culpability involves wrongdoing and in this case, my “offenses” are: spending time doing things I enjoy, helping women and moms live great lives and bringing in a little income. Hmmmm, if that’s the worst of it, it seems like I should feel OK. Or even proud. But guilty?
I’ve worked with and known quite a few women over the years and there is one thing that ties almost all of us together. We do something fun and then prescribe for ourselves a good dose of guilt. The other day I decided to take a little break from work and, in the middle of the day, I sat down with a magazine. Moments later, my husband walked in and I could have just about died. His reaction was: “Good for you. You work your tail off and deserve a few minutes of enjoyment.” My reaction was: “OMG! Now he thinks I sit around all day reading magazines.”
What is up with that? Isn’t life supposed to be full of joy? Isn’t one of the goals to be happy and isn’t the path to happiness doing things we like to do? And, after all, isn’t the point of working being able to buy and enjoy an occasional US Weekly?
Reader Comments (6)
Love this Erin!
Thank you, wise hubbie!!!! He seems to be on to you, Erin. He knows that YOU know it's not only okay to take breaks, but that the breaks make you even better and more productive and happier and a more loving Mama and partner and friend. Especially when the breaks themselves are nourishing in the way you decide is most important in any given moment.
Let's start an Abolish Mom Guilt campaign. US Weeklies all around!!!!
Thanks for bringing this to light. It sucks, and it's with us, and we can all do better at banishing it from our lives.
-Amy
Guilt is the worst! No matter what you do for your kids that feeling that you could do it better is there.
so so so true, doesn't matter what we are or aren't doing, there's guilt lurking in the corners or just plain stomping all over the enjoyment. what can we change in our outlooks?? great post!
I almost feel like the guilt is going to be there no matter what so it's up to us to decide what to do with it. Love the idea of an Abolish Mom Guilt campaign, Amy!
Occasionally, guilt can be useful to motivate us to make a positive change, but more often than not, it is as you say, "useless and annoying." Enjoy your US Weekly and come back energized for work and your family!